People told me that planning a wedding was like having a second job. Not me, I thought. First of all, I already have a second job. Secondly, we’re planning a simple, laid-back wedding. Shouldn’t that mean simple, laid-back planning?
In a word, no. In the past month or so, I have learned that planning a wedding, especially a big wedding, especially a budget wedding, is a complicated business. There are so many pieces of the puzzle to fit together, so many things to juggle, and so many decisions to make.
And there are also so many things to look at. So many pretty, sparkly things! So many centerpieces! So many venues! So many dresses! And then, even more dresses!
It’s been really easy to spend all of my time wedding planning. Some of it legitimately needs to be done, like researching venues and caterers. Those decisions need to be made soon. But do I really need to spend hours upon hours looking at wedding dresses online? I hope not. And do I really need to crunch the numbers over and over again? Not when I find myself running those same numbers while I am trying to fall asleep at night.
Instead of my normal time wasters like playing Zelda, I am endlessly thinking about wedding plans, looking at different options, and creating (and re-creating) to do lists. It is so easy to get sucked in, because there is just so much out there. The problem is that otherwise I would be playing video games, or reading, or taking walks. Those activities are actually productive. They help relax me. Diving into the wedding world (even when it is the indie wedding world) just stresses me out in the long run. It gives me decision fatigue before I even start making decisions.
Pretty things are fun to look at, and it is fun to think about what the wedding day will be like. But before long, all of the different options run together and I start to feel like I don’t really love anything, like no option is the right one for me. So, I need to start setting some wedding-planning boundaries. No more looking at dresses until I have secured the venue and caterer (hopefully soon!). I will have to choose some days where I just don’t look at anything for the wedding. And once I get over this initial hump (venue, caterer, hotel block, save the dates, photographer), I plan to take a wedding-planning vacation.
What will I do with myself? I don’t know, but what I do know is my brain could use a rest.
How do you draw boundaries for yourself when you’re engaged in total planning obsession?