When our engagement started, I was determined not to let wedding planning take over. I mean, with such a long engagement, surely there would be plenty of time to get everything done, especially during the summer. What I missed was that it’s not just about the wedding taking over my to-do list; it’s about the wedding hijacking my brain space as well.
It’s really hard not to define everything by the wedding. That pair of shoes I’m coveting? Well, that money could go toward the awesome guest book I want. That trip I’m hoping to take? Well, maybe I should save the miles so we can go on a honeymoon.
Before I called to schedule a haircut this week, I mapped out all of my hair appointments until the wedding to make sure my bangs would be the right length. Seriously. That’s how far gone I am into Wedding World.
The wedding has become a lens through which I see everything. Life events. Family issues. Friends’ happy (and sad) news. And I’m not sure that I’m really comfortable with that. Even though engagement is a fun time, and an important one, I’m not sure I want this to be The Year of Planning my Wedding. The wedding is on March 24, 2013. It lasts for one day, not 14 months. It’s great to have something so big to look forward to, but it’s not the only thing to look forward to.
The WIC tells me, “This is your special time.” According to the WIC, it should be all about me. But I can think of so many other “special times” in my life. The summer before college. The month I spent backpacking around Europe. The last summer of grad school. Life didn’t become all about me for everyone at those points, so why now?
Look, I know getting married is a big deal. I’m not trying to diminish its importance. And I am really excited for the weeding. I know I will be spending a lot of time working on it this year. But I also want to be experiencing my life, my family’s life, my friends’ life not as a Bride, but as me.