Big Wedding, Small Budget

Elegance is Overrated

on June 28, 2012

Common wedding planning advice says that you should try to think of a couple of words that describe the wedding you would like to have, as a sort of guide going forward. Typical words I’ve heard brides say are “elegant,” “classic,” or “timeless.” And that makes sense right? I mean, that definitely describes that pictures you see in bridal magazines or on blogs. That’s what we all should be aiming for, right?

Screw that. The truth is, Steve and I are not especially elegant or classic people. And if we tried to have an elegant wedding, that would just be buying into the aspirational crap that surrounds wedding planning (and marriage and family) in general. I’ve talked before on this blog about wanting to have an honest wedding. I want a wedding that feels like a party we would throw, just maybe more special. And I don’t care at all about it being timeless. Who has not had a great time looking at a making fun of their parents’ wedding pictures? (Sorry mom and dad, but the 70s was, well, the 70s after all.) If I look at the pictures in 50 years and laugh about how weird we all looked in 2012, that would be great!

I want my wedding to be fun, comfortable, relaxed, informal. Those are the words that we’re using as a guiding vision in planning. Coincidentally enough (or maybe not), they are the same words I use to describe our home. When people come over and tell us we have a beautiful house, that’s a nice compliment. But when someone says that it’s a warm, friendly, cozy house, I think, “That’s it!” That’s exactly what we were going for. In the same way, I hope people leave our wedding saying it was warm, friendly, and fun. Not just beautiful.

And I’ll tell you what, I can almost guarantee that no one will walk away talking about how elegant it was. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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