Big Wedding, Small Budget

A Very Long Engagement

on August 2, 2012

When Steve first proposed, we thought we’d get married in October. A ten month engagement sounded perfect. Enough time to plan, not enough time to stress or drag things out. The weather here is usually beautiful in October, especially at the end of the month. It’s one of my favorite times of year.

Then, the process began of actually choosing a date. We realized quickly that October wouldn’t work for Steve’s family, who are coming from England. They needed to come during a longer school holiday so their kids (Steve’s nieces and nephew) could attend. Also, I am the maid of honor in a wedding in September, the Jewish High Holidays are later that month (2 weeks in a row), and then we will be going to New Jersey for Thanksgiving in November. So getting married in October would have made the fall really, really hectic. And I didn’t think I would really be able to take off work very much before or after the wedding, which is a major buzzkill.

So, we decided on a date in March which happens to fall both during the school holidays in England and during my Spring Break. I’ll be off for the whole week after the wedding. And March is another gorgeous time here. I told myself a 15 month engagement wasn’t really that long. Don’t people usually take about a year and half these days? Ours would be less than that. And it would give us plenty of time to get things done. Anyway, it didn’t matter. March 24 was the date and I was just going to have to deal with having a longer engagement than I originally wanted.

In some ways, the long engagement has been great. When it took us a little while to find a venue, I didn’t have to panic. We had plenty of time. We ended up booking the caterer and venue more than a year out, which just felt like bonus time. Extra points! And it is nice to not have to be doing wedding stuff all the time. Also, more time to plan means more time to save money, which has been really helpful.

But. 15 months is a looooong time. I haven’t done anything wedding related in months. It’s been nice to have a break, but pretty unnecessary. People want to ask me how wedding planning is going, and don’t get me wrong—I love talking about it, but there’s just not that much to say. I worry that I don’t come across as excited enough, but how excited can I be for an event that we’ve been talking about for 7 months and is still 8 months away?

Like any other wedding decision, there is no one right answer when it comes to how long of an engagement to have. I’m glad we made the decision that we did; the date we picked is pretty much perfect and works for us, which is the most important thing. I just wish it would come a little sooner!

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