Big Wedding, Small Budget

An Untraditional Traditional Wedding

on October 4, 2012

Everyone who reads my blog knows that I am obsessed with Offbeat Bride. I belong to the Tribe, where I read and post regularly. I devour the blog posts and pictures of hippie wedding, steampunk weddings, and cosplay weddings. I will be having none of these weddings. In fact, in that community, our wedding is considering to be “offbeat-lite,” or more traditional than most.

When I’m talking to people in person about our wedding, I generally describe it as completely untraditional. I think there will be a large proportion of guests at our wedding that have never been to a wedding like ours. I do try to prepare people for how different our wedding will be.

So, how is it possible that our wedding is traditional and untraditional at the same time? Let’s look at the facts (or undeveloped ideas, as it were):

Things you’ve see before (traditions we will be following):

  • We will be sending out paper invitations.
  • I will be wearing a white dress, clearly a wedding dress, from a wedding dress store.
  • I’ll have (somewhat) fancy hair, have my nails done, and have someone else (a friend) do my makeup.
  • I will probably be wearing a veil.
  • We’ll be getting married under a chuppah with Jewish traditions guiding the ceremony.
  • We’ll have a hora.
  • We’re serving a full meal at the reception.
  • We’ll be having a DJ and hopefully, there will be lots of dancing.

The path not usually taken (untraditional aspects of our wedding):

  • We sent out email save the dates.
  • The RSVP will be via our wedding website.
  • I will mostly likely be wearing sandals, or maybe going barefoot (still wrapping my head around this one).
  • I’ll have my hair down.
  • The men will not be wearing suits or ties and no one (except, I guess, me) will be very dressed up.
  • There will be no matching wedding parties.
  • Our ceremony will be true to our humanist and atheist beliefs (or non-beliefs). The Jewish traditions will be modified as necessary.
  • We will probably not have flowers.
  • We will probably not have a cake.
  • We’ll have other fun activities besides dancing.

As you can see, our wedding will incorporate both traditional and non-traditional aspects. And truthfully, this is a perfect reflection of my sensibilities and of us as a couple. I mean, we live in the suburbs in a house, we shop at regular stores for our clothes, and we look pretty normal on the surface. But our beliefs and values are pretty radical (mine especially).

Steve hit the nail on the head this week when he described me as someone who is an incredible rule follower when it comes to small details of life, but a rule breaker when it comes to societal expectations and traditions. That’s totally true. I would never walk somewhere that had yellow tape blocking it off, but I have absolutely no problem throwing away cultural expectations or traditions when they don’t speak to me.

So, that’s the kind of wedding we’re having. An in-between wedding for in-between people. Sounds perfect to me!

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