Big Wedding, Small Budget

November 6

on November 5, 2012

Tomorrow is Election Day. Regardless of your political beliefs, I hope all of the American citizens here will vote. Voting is our chance to make our voice heard, to participate in our democracy. I’ve always been disheartened by the low turnout in the US on Election Day. Let’s not take that right for granted.

Disclaimer: I’ll now be talking some partisan politics. Be prepared.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “What do politics have to do with a wedding blog?” Normally, I might agree with you. But when the right of all couples to marry is such a salient issue this year, I can’t plan my wedding and keep quiet about it.

Everyone who reads this blog should already know my stance on marriage equality. I’ve written about it before, and I even chose one of my wedding vendors based on their inclusiveness. Getting married next year has thrown this issue into even clearer focus for me, and I feel compelled to shout to the rooftops about it in this election cycle.

I recognize, through every step of this process, the privilege that Steve and I have as a mixed-gender couple getting married. Although we’ve had a few small struggles due to my choosing intermarriage, they are nothing compared to the couples I’ve heard from who have been rejected from wedding venues due to it being a same-sex wedding. That’s right; they were denied the chance to give a venue their business. Same-sex couples have to worry about telling vendors what kind of wedding it is, about rejection from family, about people choosing not to attend because they don’t agreed with the couples love.

On top of all that, their marriage is not legal. They are not recognized by the federal government, even if they happen to get married in one of the few states that have marriage equality. That means that they will probably have issue with insurance, taxes, hospital visits, divorce, and children, just to name a few. They also are denied legitimacy from the county in which they live.

This is starting to change. People are coming around, choosing to believe in equal rights. The polls show growing support for marriage equality. And I think it’s about time, although I wish it would move a little faster. Having legalized discrimination in this country is absolutely horrifying to those of us who believe all people are equal.

One concrete way to support marriage equality is in your vote. Marriage rights are on the ballot in Maine, Washington, Maryland, and Minnesota. If just one of those ballot measures passes, it will be an historic step in the fight for equality. And for those of us who live elsewhere, we can support equal right by supporting candidates (especially for President) who do. Candidates who will not support things like a Constitutional Amendment that restricts rights instead of adding them. Candidates who have (finally) spoken out in favor of marriage equality.

This issue has always been important to me. But now that I’m participating in an institution and being given a privilege denied to so many, I feel even more compelled to fight for the right of all couples to marry. Supporting stronger families helps us all. My marriage rights would mean more if everyone were allowed to have them.

Please note: Not that I get many comments on this blog, but just in case…I welcome discussion, but I will absolutely not tolerate homophobic comments. So, just don’t.


2 responses to “November 6

  1. I appreciate your pro-marriage equality stance! As a person in a same-sex relationship who recently got (legally) married in the enlightened state of Massachusetts, I am now frustratingly realized what it means not to have that marriage recognized federally — if I put my wife on my health insurance at work (which would be cheaper for us), the value of her health insurance premium will count as income for me. This would then be additionally taxed. Add this to the fact that the additional “income” would bump me into the next tax bracket, and we’re now talking about an additional $1500/year in tax costs. (Some companies compensate their employees for the difference; mine doesn’t.) So even state-level marriage equality isn’t enough — we need the federal government to let states be the deciders of marriage standards, so that if MA says we’re married, then we are. Right now, the federal government (through DOMA) is effectively declaring us un-married.

    Anyhow, sorry to vomit my frustration with the system all over the place here — but this is literally what I spent half my morning figuring out, and I am still pissed about it!

    • Barbra says:

      That really sucks. DOMA needs to go. My hope is that if we can actually get marriage equality passed on a ballot measure, it might serve as the tipping point that will lead to national pressure to get rid of DOMA.
      So sorry you have to deal with this. It just isn’t fair.


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