Confession: I am a control freak. This is probably not much of a surprise for anyone who knows me. I don’t think I really try to control other people’s lives, but when it comes to my own, I like to be in charge. I like to plan things. I like to figure out all of the details ahead of time. I’m not a roll-with-the-punches kind of girl. Instead, I like to know just how everything is going to go.
That’s part of the reason why I’ve enjoyed planning the wedding so far. I’ve never been in charge of a project this big, and it’s great! It’s right up my alley.
The thing is, though, that I can’t be in charge of everything about the wedding. Specifically, when it comes to pre-wedding events like the shower and bachelorette party, I’m not in charge at all.
At first, I thought this would be extremely difficult. It did feel weird, I have to admit, to hand over a guest list for the shower and then…nothing. There was nothing to figure out, nothing to do. It was a strange feeling getting an invitation to my shower. I mean, the last time a party was thrown for me, without my involvement, was a surprise birthday party when I turned 17. And that was in 1996.
Plans are being made and I’m not a part of it. I’m expected to show up on the day and time, without having any idea what to expect. I don’t know who will be there, what we’ll be doing, or how the day will go.
And you know what? It feels great. I have not had a hard time letting go. It’s probably because there is still so much wedding planning to do. But seriously, I am super excited about the fact that I get to go to a party without having to do anything to plan it! Although it’s still a little bit of a crazy feeling to think that people are coming together to plan something just for me, that really has nothing to do with not having control. That’s more about me being used to doing things for other people.
The truth is, I just feel lucky. Lucky that I have people who want to throw me a shower at all. Lucky that they are people I trust plan an awesome and fun shindig. Lucky that I have the opportunity to sit back and enjoy what is sure to be a wonderful day. And the anticipation, the not-knowing, the loss of control is part of what is making it so much fun.