Well, the time has finally arrived. I’m starting to get really excited about the wedding. Celebrations start this month, with my shower and the engagement photo sessions, plus I’ll be taking Emily to shop for her dress while she’s here for winter break.
I’ve written before about the lull in planning and my inability to sustain excitement over our long engagement. Once I reached the four-month mark, my to-list got seriously longer and more involved. It is now time to actually start making decisions about details, ordering things, and making concrete plans. I’m trying hard not to think about the big checklist; instead, I’m focusing month by month on what exactly needs to get done, and everything else can wait. I will say, though, that is getting harder to do.
A side effect of the stress that I didn’t anticipate, though, is the excitement. Making decisions about smaller details means that I am thinking about those details, envisioning them in the wedding. Finally making myself sit down and start hashing out the ceremony means that I’m spending time picturing the getting married part of the wedding. Planning the wedding weekend events means that I can imagine hanging out with our very spread out friends and family.
The stress and excitement have become completely wrapped up with each other. So I’ll work on reducing my stress (putting back burner items on the back burner), and then I’ll get excited about something, and then I’ll be stressed again. It’s a cycle, but I guess in the end, it’s a good thing. I’m not really that stressed, and I can’t feel anxious without also feeling excited. As determined as I’ve been to have a good time planning the wedding, this is a new dimension, a new wrinkle in the process.
The wedding is coming closer and closer. Soon, my countdown will be in the double digits. I relish the fact that there is so much to do, because it will make these three and a half months go by really quickly. And it will keep the excitement of the wedding on my mind. For me, the anticipation is half the fun.