It’s really time to start writing the ceremony. Even though we have more than three months until the wedding, I want to have enough time to really be thoughtful while I’m working on it, go over it with Steve and make changes, go over it with Ilana (our officiant) and make more changes, and then review it finally and finish it. The ceremony is not something I want to be writing at the last minute.
But, man, it is so much more difficult than I expected! Or at least, it’s more difficult to get started than I expected. I think part of the problem is the freedom. Even though we’re using a basic Jewish ceremony structure, we are really starting almost from scratch. In a lot of ways, I think it would be easier if we just had a proscribed ceremony to use. But we don’t.
I realized the other day that this process reminds me of writing a paper in college vs. writing a paper in grad school. In college, I took a ton of literature and sociology classes (and by a ton, I mean I could have majored in the “writing intensive” course qualifier). The papers I wrote for those classes came with very few guidelines. The assignment was basically to make an argument based on what we had read and spend 10-15 pages (or more) supporting that argument. We had so much freedom; we really had to start from scratch. In contrast, the papers I wrote in grad school came with a topic, an assignment with specific questions to cover, and a rubric to sue when grading to make sure we covered everything. Much more laid out, and almost always easier to write.
The thing is, I enjoyed writing papers in undergrad way more. I relished the chance to write about something meaningful to me, to craft my argument however I wanted. And this is the same. So, I’ve decided to attach writing the ceremony just as I attacked paper writing in college. Start with an outline, think about it incessantly, and finally, just start getting something down on the page. The rest will come. The important thing for me to remember is that getting started was always the hardest part.