A while back, I came across this post: Pre-wedding session. The blog says,
We are completely obsessed with the idea of a pre-wedding session. Not only do you get do a test run with your hair and makeup, make sure your dress is exactly right, but you also get to have some incredibly gorgeous photos captured of you and your love. All this without the stress of the wedding day.
We recommend bringing items that you want photographed, your invites, wedding shoes, or any keepsake you want captured. We love the idea of having a bouquet made for the session as well, to add that extra pretty element in all your photos.
This post has been bouncing around in my head for a while, and now that the wedding day is starting to take shape, I have been thinking about it even more. I could not disagree with it more. Having a pre-wedding shoot pretty much goes against everything I believe in, at least when it comes to weddings.
I hope that my wedding looks nice. I don’t really care if it is beautiful, perfect stylized or “blog-worthy.” I know Steve will look nice, and I’ll hopefully look pretty (although I’m pretty committed to looking normal, too). When I was looking for a photographer, I didn’t choose one based on her recording our fabulousness. I chose one based on her capturing our wedding. How it looks, but also, how it feels.
Dressing up in our wedding clothes, with a bouquet, with hair and makeup done, on the day before our wedding doesn’t mean anything. Pictures of us at the wedding, feeling the emotions (and hopefully, joy) of the day, connecting with friends and family—that’s what I want to see in our photos. We are not models in everyday life, and I definitely don’t want to be models at our wedding day.
This has come up especially when I’m thinking about first look photos. Steve really hates posing for photos, and I really hate contrived moments. We are not good actors, and we like to just get on with things. We will see each before the ceremony for several reasons (Jewish wedding, pictures beforehand), and I would like pictures of that time, but I just want us to act naturally. I learned from our engagement session that our photographer is really good at capturing those kinds of moment without making it look or feel contrived, so I’m not worried about it all.
I guess what it comes down to is this: for me, a wedding is an experience, not a diorama. Treating a wedding like a photoshoot by taking pictures the day before misses the point of the whole thing. Who cares what we look like? I want to see what we felt like.